Reuniting the Gray
by JinxedSydney
Summary: Set after TRoS. Rated K like the movies! . Rey doesn't mind the heat on Tatooine. It reminds her of home—Jakku. The way the heat distorts the horizon in ripples. Freezing nights and blazing days. A simple way of life, to work and stay busy, to eat and sleep, then do it all over again.
1. Chapter 1

_Last installment of Into the Gray Series. _

* * *

Rey doesn't mind the heat on Tatooine. It reminds her of home—Jakku. The way the heat distorts the horizon in ripples. Freezing nights and blazing days. A simple way of life, to work and stay busy, to eat and sleep, then do it all over again.

She loves it most when Finn calls. He can't wait until she gets back. Unabated joy vibrates through the speakers when he rambles on about "getting that weird feeling, you know?" He's trying to lift rocks.

There is always something to do: the never-ending battle when the sands shift and cascade into the Lars' homestead. Someone at Tosche Station seemed surprised when Rey told them where she chose to stay after she'd stopped for parts to fix the moisture collectors.

"It's full of ghosts and sadness."

There are no spirits since the day both of her Masters faded into the sunsets. Only D-O's tinny responses to BB-8's tendency to be bossy. The droids don't press her for answers or ask questions she doesn't want to hear. Rose doesn't mean anything by them, she's just being a good friend. Even _that_ tone in Poe's voice when he gives her a tidbit of how Finn is progressing as co-general.

"He's doing great!" _Without you._ "He's trying to make heads of tails of those books." _That you left behind._ "Someday, he's gonna need something other than a blaster." _Like a lightsaber or a master._

The sadness of the Lars' home, though, lulls her into its arms each evening. The whispers of the past, regrets, wrap Rey into a warm cocoon of what should have been. And on the nights where she swears she hears her name rip across the desert winds, she curls into a tighter ball and remembers.

The feel of Ben's lips.

His genuine smile that filled every crevice of her soul. She'd never felt so complete before.

The memories are all she has left since The Force stilled. It's a quiet like none other. A dark, chilled blanket with no edges, no escape. It stretches on forever, peaceful and vacant. Gone are the nightmares of abandonment, the whispers of Jedis from long ago. She extends her thoughts to find him, or Master Luke, even Leia. And the silence drapes over her until she surrenders to exhaustion and a dreamless sleep.

In the morning, Rey eats until her belly protests. She grills tasty meats loaded with spices and drinks the blue milk that she picks up once a week from Anchorhead. When BB-8 beeps that someone is in the droid shop, Rey blows her breath through pursed lips. She just wants to fix the units on the South Ridge. They keep breaking down.

Rey dumps her glass into the sink and walks toward the darkened room. The light should've come on with movement. "BB-8," she says, turning to the rolling droid at her heels. "Are you sure you saw someone?" The overhead flickers to life once she steps over the threshold. He's slightly offended by her question.

"Person here," D-O confirms, speeding past her ankles to the nearest workbench.

She looks around at the empty shop. "Unless I'm blind, there is no one here."

BB-8 chirps.

"What do you mean he just left? Who just left? I would've seen someone." Rey hurries back outside. Nothing in The Force as she extends her mind. No one is on the stairs to the surface, so she climbs them to the equally barren horizon. "See?" she yells back down. "There's no one here."

Both droids repeat that someone was there and left. Rey rolls her eyes, heads to the speeder, and opens up the throttle once she's far enough that the blasting sand won't cause an hour's worth of cleaning. She'll have to check their sensors when she comes back. Obviously, there's something causing interference. It is hard enough to war against the sorrow in her soul without malfunctioned hope.

There are fresh tracks near the collectors on the South Ridge—both Bantha and Tusken Raiders. Nothing is missing, though. And she knows the Sand People are watching. Not because of The Force, but because she's read about their survival and heard the rumors of their vicious attacks. She's surprised that they didn't dismantle the entire systems. They think water is sacred. Maybe it's because she left a covered trough for them to collect from. It was an attempt to keep them from damaging the other collectors and it looks like it's worked.

The twin suns rise to their zenith. Rey steadily wilts beneath the unsheltered sunshine. When the collector finally drips a steady stream into the trough, she throws her hyperspanner into the speeder and heads back to the homestead. This heat, the droids, play havoc in her head. She needs to stand under the cool fresher and wash it all away.

BB-8 squawks before she's even cut the engine.

"Yes, I'm sorry for leaving you this morning…No, I just went to the South Ridge. I was fine, BB-8." He bumps into her ankle when she steps into the lower homestead. She kneels. "I was just in a bad mood and needed some time to myself, that's all. I'm sorry I left you behind." Rey fiddles with his antenna. "I need to clean up and then would like to run a diagnostic to check your sensors, if that's okay." With his blessing, she heads to the fresher.

And it's here, under the chilled water, where the sobs burst from her lips. The loneliness has crept in from all sides. That silly hope of someone coming to see her. The untold, secret ache to see _him_ one more time, even if it's through The Force. By the time she turns off the faucet, Rey decides that she will pack tomorrow and head back to the base. She needs to see her friends again, to feel a friendly hug.

Rey catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she straightens her tunic. "The galaxy doesn't need another Jedi locked away on an island," she whispers. The Force will return in its own time. And with it, maybe, just maybe, the possibility of seeing Ben someday.

A soft bump jostles her. She looks down expecting to see D-O, but nothing is there. She stretches out into The Force, but it remains hushed. Twisting her hair into two quick buns, she nods to her reflection and yells to BB-8, who rolls in as she is setting her clothes onto the sparse bed. "We are leaving tomorrow," she says, making sure there is nothing left in the drawers even though she knows they are empty.

He's excited. He misses Poe and wants to see Rose again. Rose always cleans his ports the best.

"Let's go eat and then we'll close up the place. I have enough time to head to Anchorhead to have them get the ship ready and be back before sunsets." To make sure no parts are missing from the X-wing. Rey pats his dome on the way to the kitchen. He beeps and sputters on about going back to the Resistance, if there will be any new droids or Wookies. He likes Wookies.

She hesitates grabbing a piece of round Haroun bread and dried chokie. It'll be strange without Chewbacca lumbering around the base. He'd returned to Kashyyyk before Rey left for Tatooine, saying that he wanted to see his home world and find his family. She wept into his fur, understanding the isolation while everyone else went on with their lives.

It'll be strange going back to the base. Poe is busy with leadership. Finn too. And trying to make heads or tails of The Force. He'll have a million questions once he learns about the imposed silence on her end. As if she can answer.

Across the counter, the glass in the sink clatters. Rey furrows her brows. "Is there a Saralacc nearby or something?" BB-8 replies that he hasn't detected any movement.

A wind gust flings the door wide open and it crashes into the wall. In the courtyard, sand spins in a vortex, pelting Rey's skin as she tries to shove the door closed.

_Rey…_

The door crashes against the stucco again after she lets go and steps into the furious sandstorm. She can hear BB-8 and D-O behind her, but she stretches out her hand and The Force. "Ben!" Rey shields her eyes and yells, only to get a mouthful of grit. She sinks to her knees, feeling nothing but stillness from The Force. Dropping her head to her chest, she places both palms to the ground.

"Be with me," she whispers. "Be with me." She feels each grain of sand fall as The Force tucks her into its power. Serenity settles into her very being, thrumming with life.

Rey is cold and the sky is dotted with stars when she looks up. Her knees throb when she struggles to stand. BB-8 chatters from the doorway. "I'm okay," she says, voice graveled and low. He rolls near her when she returns to the kitchen. "No, it's alright. I think I need to eat." The bread and chokie are still on the counter.

She feels the sound deaden before anything else. "You should eat."

Rey grabs the edge of the tile. If she turns, he'll disappear like a dream. It hurts to swallow and tears spring into her eyes. She hasn't heard that voice in three hundred sixty-eight days—a full year, even though she tried to forget the day.

"Rey?"

"If I face you, you will still be…" No. She chokes on the word.

"Dead. Yes. But I'm here now." His voice is closer now, behind her.

"I can't even feel you in The Force. I feel nothing." Tears plop down next to her hands. She makes two fists and takes a shaky sigh. She yearns to see him, desperate to fill the longing in her heart.

"You brought me here."

She looks to the wall before straightening. It is a slow and measured turn and she holds her breath.

He is blue and translucent. But he is Ben, eyes speaking before he smiles. And the sight breaks a sob from deep within her. Rey clutches the countertop to keep herself from running to and quite possibly through him. "Ben," she finally breathes out. "How are you here?"

His shoulders shrug. "I heard you. I've always heard you. Different parts of your day, when you're cursing the moisture collectors or telling your droids what you've made for dinner."

"If you've been here, why haven't you come before?" She pushes forward, a tentative step toward him.

"I don't know. I wasn't here, Rey, I just heard you. I don't even know where I was." He's dressed in black, of course, long sleeves to his wrist. This is what he was wearing when they were together. "Maybe it's The Force," he says, startling her. "Or the dyad between us."

"You and Palpatine said it like I should know what it means. I don't. Even after looking in Master Luke's old books and on the holonet."

"I doubt you would ever find it because it is strictly from Sith lore. It spoke of two people who formed a connection that spanned over space and time. Their connection was as strong as life itself." Ben moves closer. If he was flesh, she could smell him, touch his hand—his face.

"If we were that powerful, why couldn't I save you?" Fresh tears trail down her cheeks. She holds her breath when he reaches up to swipe them, and pulls back.

"You saved me from myself."

Rey scoffs, fists clenched at her side. "But I wanted time with you!" Her fury bubbles and toils in the pit of her stomach. "I wanted to be with you, Ben, and The Force took you from me—"

"No," he cuts her off. "I needed you to survive."

"We could've had time to figure it out."

His eyes widened. "They would've hunted me!"

"No!" Rey reaches up and lays her hand on his cheek. "We could have gone far, far away."

Ben stills, his blue aura fading. "Rey…" He slowly lifted his hand to hers.

It is like Ahch-To again.

Rey gasps, watching her thumb stroke his jawline in tiny movements. Her eyes shift to his. "How?"

His lips tip into a grin and his eyebrows raise. "Dyad?"

And before he can disappear back into The Force, Rey kisses Ben. With her lips, her heart, her soul. With every thought of love that she can pour into their connection. Until the movement she falters forward and her eyes snap open.

He is fading into the light.

"No, Ben, please." She covers her mouth, as if to capture the feeling, to bind him. He is nearly gone now, blending into the moonlight of the open doorway. "Be with me."

_Always…_

The sands shift over the threshold with a warm breeze.

D-O rolls to the open doorway. "Person here."

Rey smiles. "Yes, D-O. He was."

* * *

_Much thanks to Wookiepedia for my Star Wars research. Ben Solo deserved better, but at least we saw that smile. ~JS_


	2. Chapter 2

BB8 paces through the start-up program. D-O is tucked into a space under Rey's seat and he doesn't like it one bit. Rey settles into the cockpit of the X-wing. She flexes her fingers around the stick. Closing her eyes, she waits for the all-clear to launch. Back to the base and to her friends.

Ben's appearance the night before only spurs her quick return. Maybe there, she could find time to meditate to see him again. Every day, perhaps. The Force brushes against her mind, full of hope. BB-8 lets her know that they are clear. Rey isn't sure if it is the vibration from the engines or the thought of seeing Ben again that makes her free hand tremble as she flips the switch to take off. She doesn't know how or where to begin, but she's going to find out about the dyad, even if it means the path of the Sith. She doesn't fear the dark side anymore because it will bring Ben back to her.

When the atmosphere breaks, the expanse of black space stretches out before the X-wing and her crew. BB-8 confirms their course. "Yes, back to Poe," Rey says, smiling in her helmet. She still can't believe Poe let his pet go with her.

Hyperdrive still messes with her stomach and they have hours to go. Rey allows her eyelids to slide close. She can't help but think of Ben. Her lips move wordlessly so that BB-8 can't hear them.

_Be with me._

The steady hum and rattle of the cockpit is her only reply. But it's worth another try. She clears her mind like Master Luke and Leia had trained her to do, shedding each thought and desire layer upon layer. Until there is nothing but The Force.

_Be with me._

The silence in The Force muffles her mind like a wet jacket in a rain storm, heavy, awkward, and wrong. Rey pushes against the denial.

_Be with me._

Instantly, Rey is shoved from her concentration. A proximity alert is beeping and there are two flashing lights on the dash. D-O is tapping on the bottom of her seat. "Yes, I see it," she calls to BB-8, resetting the alert and glancing over the nose of the ship, which is certainly not in hyperspace. "Where are we?"

BB-8 wonders if she fell asleep because they are entering orbit for the planet where the new base is located.

"I wasn't asleep," Rey says, taking manual control over the ship. "I was meditating." BB-8 pops off his response. "It doesn't matter what I was concentrating on." The turbulence makes her grab the stick with both hands. "You just adjust the thrust so I can land without ejecting you." She smiles into the microphone. She's glad the two bots were her companions on Tatooine.

"Rey?" Finn's voice crackles over the headset.

"Red 5, requesting to land." Her heart swells when he laughs. She knows the welcoming party will be large and that'll be okay. It still is strange that people want to talk to her, to thank her for putting an end to the Emperor.

Her grandfather.

Rey takes a shaky breath and glides the ship onto the platform. Rose, Finn, and Poe are there in front. That's all she cares about.

BB-8 works on shut-down and Rey takes off her helmet. "Be with me," she whispers to no one in particular. Because although she needs these people, they frighten her. And they are equally scared of her. Of her power—the lightning they saw on Passana. But they try. Even Poe. That will all change if they know about Ben.

A ladder clatters against the side of the X-wing and Finn is suddenly next to her, trying to help the canopy raise. He wraps his arms around Rey even though she is buckled into the seat. "I thought you weren't—don't you ever leave me again." His breath is hot on her neck.

Rey pulls her head back and squeezes his hand. The Force soothes her the moment they touch. "I don't plan on going anywhere." It's partly true. She knows that she will leave again eventually, to find Ben. She loosens the safety restraints, grabs her bag, and climbs down after Finn. "Oh, don't forget D-O under the seat," she calls to the man holding the ladder. His eyes widen and he quickly nods. He must know about the lightning, too.

Rose wraps herself around Rey's middle. Finn joins. And Poe adds himself from the side. The Force buzzes in joy.

Finn jolts upright. "I can feel that!" He grins and it anchors Rey in absolute happiness.

The only thing that would make her happier would to see Ben again. In the flesh. Even if it was…

"You okay?" Finn looks at her as they all step back from one another.

"Yeah," Rey says, shaking her head. "Yeah. I've just been flying for hours."

Poe clears his throat. She catches his nervous blink. "You bring back my boy in one piece?" He cranes his neck to the side. Rey hears BB-8 thud against the ground and roll at full speed toward Poe. The general of the Resistance drops to one knee and baby-talks to the droid. D-O stays close to his droid friend.

"I'll show you to your quarters," Rose volunteers, pulling Rey by the hand. "It's just down the hall from me." Finn flanks her opposite side. And when Rey glances back, Poe watches the trio with a contemplative gaze before a weak smile softens his face.

The closer they come to the gray walls, the faster Finn talks. "I am pretty sure that the rock wobbled around, Rey. I mean, I felt it. But it takes a lot of concentration and I mess up if anyone makes a loud noise. I usually try it in my room or out on this trail that I've made. But Rose and Poe know about it. Man! You make it look so easy, Rey. I can't wait to go over the books with you because there are some crazy pictures. Even crazier than that wayfinder."

"I remember," Rey breathes. The Sith wayfinder. Kef Bir and the vision of herself. And Ben. They'd both felt Leia's death. Rey chose to kill him. Death—the way of the Sith.

Wind swirls around her feet near the door.

_And then life…_

Finn grips her arm. "Hey, you alright?"

She's standing still in the doorway. "I think I'm just tired," she lies. Because it's easier this way. Someday, she promises herself, she will tell him. Rey glances around for Ben, disappointed to see nothing and grateful to not have to explain.

Rose disappears after letting Rey into her room. She says she'll be back with a snack. Finn is suddenly mute. Rey glances over her shoulder after she's pulled on long sleeve tunic to combat the chill and he's watching every movement she makes. "I finished my light saber," she offers, pulling the handle from her pack and offering it to him.

Finn turns it over a few times and then hands it back. "What'd you do with the others?"

"I buried them on Tatooine. At the Skywalker home."

"What did you do there?"

Rey rocks back onto her heels and squats on the floor. "I'd get up in the morning and eat breakfast. Then I'd head out and check on the moisture collector systems. Once a week, I'd go to town."

"Sounds boring." Finn lowers himself next to her on the bed, his knees level with her head.

"It was quiet." No one trying to kill her or endlessly question her heritage.

"I really did get that rock to move, Rey."

She looks up and his smile nearly brings tears to her eyes. "I've missed you." She leans her cheek onto his leg and relaxes when his hand lands on her hair.

"I'm glad you're back. I have so many questions."

Rey yawns and straightens. "Let me eat and then you can take me out to your training area, okay?"

He stands as Rose enters with a tray. They both leave and Rey notices how Finn's hand lingers in the small of her back. She prods the Force but retracts before she can hear any of their thoughts. She has no right.

After finishing the food, Rey curls into a ball on the bed since Finn still hasn't returned. She's drifting off when someone ghosts a thumb across her cheek that sparks remembrance and possession.

_You look peaceful._

Rey inhales through her nose and grins, eyes still sealed. "Of course, you would say that."

"Say what?"

Rey scrambles upright as Finn fully opens the door. "Nothing," she says, wildly looking around the small room. "I think I was dreaming."

"Sounds like a good dream."

She can feel the heat spread across her cheeks and knows the tips of her ears are bright red. Eyebrows hiked high, she smiles. "You ready to show me your training course?"

Finn tells her that he modeled the trail after the last one she used. "There's no big ravine or anything, so I dug a big hole," he says, making wide sweeping motions with both hands. "But first the rocks."

The forest isn't as thick here, the air is lacking humidity. The air is much colder than Tatooine, sending goosebumps down both arms. The trees are green and blue with purple sap oozing near the bases. The first clearing has a number of boulders, from the size of her fist to one that must've taken several personnel to roll in.

"Can you—" Finn cuts himself off and rubs his hair with one hand, taking a step backward. "Do you think you could mediate with me?"

Rey reaches for his hand. "I'd be honored."

She lowers herself to the dirt and Finn settles cross-legged opposite of her. "How much have you read?" She places both palms onto her knees and smiles when he does the same.

"Uh, just what I've read about."

"Okay. How about I take you through the steps Master Luke taught me the first time?"

"That'd be great, Rey."

"Close your eyes and breathe. Just breathe." Rey remembers the Porgs squawking below the Temple. It is nearly silent here, the leaves high above rubbing against one another in the breeze. "Now reach out. What do you see?"

Finn's brows buckle down. Little lines crease his forehead.

"Breathe through it, Finn. Relax and reach out."

"Light and darkness." His facial muscles relax. "Balance and energy."

She can't help but smile. Oh how she missed her very first friend and his heart. "And inside you?" It's like Master Luke is right here.

"Inside me is that same feeling."

"That is the Force." She lets her own eyes flit close, feeling the pull to the Force's embrace. "It is all around us, in everything." She senses a nearby rock and gently lifts it from the ground. It feels different than any other stone, like the Force lives _in_ the rock.

While Finn meditates, tranquil and calm, Rey opens her eyes and pulls the stone to her. It's shiny and black. The moment it meets her palm, deep red veins throb to life once, twice, like a heartbeat, then returns to its dark state. It is warm as she slips it from one hand to the other. Serenity settles into her soul.

"I feel that," Finn says, looking to her hands. "We found that in the General's belongings. I brought it out here to see if it would help."

"I believe it is Force sensitive," Rey says, extending it to him. It doesn't react when he takes it. But she yearns to hold it again. Longs to press it against her skin. "May I have it?"

"Yeah, sure." He tosses it back to her.

She tucks it into a hidden pocket at her waist and calls another small rock to her hand. "Let's see if you can get this to wobble."

Darkness approaches when the pair reemerges to the camp after the rock has indeed wobbled. Her X-wing is tethered and tarped. Though the First Order was destroyed, the vacuum for power still wages on and many Rebels have been attacked over the last months.

Rose greets them at the perimeter fence. "Thought we might have to send out a search party for you two." She beams when Finn smiles back at her.

"Did we miss dinner?" Rey wants to move to a safe topic. Food is good.

"Yeah, but Poe saved you both some and would like a briefing in his office."

"Our office," Finn corrects.

"Yes, sir," Rose says, slapping his butt.

Rey smashes her lips together to hide her smile. Finn shakes his head and leads the ladies down a series of hallways until they stop. Rose bids her goodbyes and they head into a room with two desks, four chairs, which smells like a sweaty man.

"It stinks in here," Rey says as Poe stands.

"It's not that bad," Finn replies, taking a seat at the empty desk.

_The bases were always rough._

She shifts, shaking her head to quiet his thoughts. The stone heats up in her pocket. "The stench is awful."

"We don't smell anything." Poe sniffs loudly.

Rey scoffs. "You wouldn't."

Poe straightens. "No one has said that it smells in here."

"Do you think," Rey says, cocking her head to the side, "that any of the people you lead would say so?"

Finn glances at Poe and they exchange a head shake. "You told us," Poe says.

_You need them on your side._

"That's because I'm your friend." She pulls a free chair between the two desks. Her hand rests on top of the stone, the Force thrumming and tender. "You said that you wanted a briefing?"

Rey gives them a generic breakdown of her uneventful time on Tatooine, editing out the best part. The reason that would have her explaining the unexplainable, a terminal loop of endless questions on her connections with Kylo Ren. Even Leia's journals had not swayed their opinions of him.

In the end, they eat a cold meal together and she feels Poe keeping his own secrets. The generals walk her to her quarters and she locks the door after their footsteps fade.

It has been hours that she has had to ignore the tiny rock in her pocket, despite the Force beckoning her with tendrils of hope. Rey places the stone on her pillow while she uses the fresher. It's like a homing beacon once she emerges.

Hair dripping down her clean tunic, she nestles the black talisman into both fists, closing her fingers. It pulses like a heartbeat.

"Be with me. Be with me."

The air shifts and pulls. Sound deadens. Obeying the magnetic pull toward him, Rey stands and takes a few steps until they are nearly touching.

Everything is perfect in this moment. There is balance. Light and darkness. Death and life. He threads his fingers through hers before stopping and gently turning over her hand.

"This belonged to my grandfather."

* * *

_So...this was supposed to be a one-shot story. However, I cannot let it go. ~JS_


End file.
